I Lose and not the weight

18 03 2009

So if you hadn’t figured it out I lost the bet and it has been down hill since then. One weekend with a cheat day turned into a month I swear.  I just can’t seem to get things going like I had hoped. No excuses just plain laziness on my part. As far as my eating goes it has not been too bad but I have not exercised in 2 weeks.  I have felt horrible. Since my surgery my hormones are all out of wack, I don’t feel like exercising, I just want to sleep all the time. My iron is way down and I can’t seem to get it to balance out. Dr says that is probably why I didn’t take the weight off like I had hoped. Whatever! After being defeated I let it go to far, thinking that I would just eat what I wanted that weekend and then I would start all over again. I let the loss get to me and I have been in a downward spiral since then. My moods are crazy. I think I could have a nervous breakdown at any time and since food has always been my comfort guess where I am turning? You got it right to all the foods that I like to think makes me feel better. I know that in the long run I always feel worse about eating them but at the time I don’t think about anything other than eating. I just don’t know what to do. Finances have got me in a tizzy, court date is coming up with the ex, K’s meeting for school is coming up. I just feel overwhelmed right now and I don’t deal well with it. I have never been one to deal well with stress. I worry to much about the little things that when the big things come up I am all stretched out.  I think I am going to see about some ” happy pills” for a while. Even though I know that I should not take them. (known pill popper) that’s another story in itself. So I am going to have to watch that closely but I can’t continue on the way I am. Drinking has picked up and I hate that. I don’t drink in front of my daughter so I stay up drinking and pondering all my thoughts. I can’t speak to the parentals cuz they know nothing about any of it. I am just at my wits end and I don’t know what to do.This is not the first time that I have felt this way it is ongoing but usually I can snap myself back into atleast somewhat normal feelings.  My daughter gets me through most everything. The only difference is I have never had to wonder where the next dollar is going to come from to take care of her. She is my life and I live everyday for her. So now that you know why I haven’t been on please feel free to comment and leave any suggestions that you may have. Much love to you all!




3 responses

18 03 2009

I am praying for you…wish we were closer. If you get happy pills send some my way *I pop pills too* xoxo

16 04 2009

um…i dont really know how this works but i kno im fat and u guys are really thin and i need help ive never realyy done anything like this before but i really need your help please help me!!!

5 05 2009

sorry it took so long for me to get back to ya things have been hectic around here and I haven’t had the chance to get on. Just to let you know we are not thin girls but we want to be. we have been through the journey many times to get thin and failed but we are trying to hop back on the band wagon and go for it again. I would love to talk to ya and help u in any way that I am able. Please contact me at s_treffert@yahoo.com Hang in there it is never easy but it is accomplishable

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