Ok so i got to clear the air… YOU MUST READ

28 09 2009

Just so we r clear this site is not meant to pusuade anyone to do any diet that we have talked about on this blog. My only intentions with this site is to share what I have tried and what has worked or not worked for me. I do understand that many of you have issues with the types of diets that have been discussed on this site. For me and many others who read and support this blog it is a way to discuss what we try and what we are feeling with the diets that we try. If you pay any attention to this blog at all that is not the only things that I discuss on here. This is a personal  way for me to clear my mind and get things off my chest. For those of you who find my blog offensive I am sorry for that but you can at any time click off and discontinue reading.  I am a single mother I am a smoker and I am a woman who has many struggles in her life weight being one of many. This is not a pity party for me I do not expect you to feel sorry for me or to understand where I am coming from with all the things that I write about.  To any children who may read this blog DO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT CONDOANING THIS BEHAVIOR OR THIS LIFESTYLE. I DO believe that the best and healthiest way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. Which IS what I have been doing since last posting on this site. It has taken much time but I am now down 32 pounds and feeling wonderful about it. Knowing that I have done it the right way is fullfilling. I do have some help from a diet pill that I take. This pill is however prescribed by a doctor under his supervision. So to all of you who are reading and do read this thank you so much. As for all of my haters I hope that I have cleared things up for you.

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3 More Days

28 02 2009

The clock is ticking and so far I am on track. There are 3 more days to go til the final weigh in with my dad and bro. I am super excited and as of right now I am in first. The biggest downfall is that my dad tends to drop a few in one day and as of now I am only ahead by 1. My goal is to drop atleast to more pounds in the next three days before the weigh in. That will put me at my personal goal to lose 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I am trying to give it my all and hang in there. Not giving into temptation right now is a challenge but I also want to prove that I can shed the weight too. Girl scout cookies come in yesterday and ofcourse I had ordered 4 boxes before this whole thing started. The look on my face when they showed up yesterday I’m sure was discust. I did not want them anywhere near me. I managed to sell 2 of the boxes that I had bought to co-workers. That was a definate plus. Even bigger plus is that I sold MY favorite ones so the temptation is not as great. I kept the boxes that my daughter wanted and I am limiting how many she can have a day as well.  I know that I haven’t been on for a while so here is the scoop. I am now down 13 pounds since the start of all of this, I am back to doing the Weight Watchers because that is what works for me. I am trying to lose it at a resonable pace so that I can keep it off this time. No sence in losing it if it’s not going to stay off. Gym time has been cut short for me the last few weeks so I bought a resistance band and a few other things so that I can atleast get in a few short workouts through out the day. I do take the band to work with me and if I have a chance I try to fit in a little before or after lunch. I am trying to do short intervels either before or after each meal. It seems to be working ok. I know that if I was to go to the gym it would probably be coming off a little faster but what the hell it’s coming off and that is my only concern at this time. I also wear ankle weights to work for a little something. So that is the plan that I am using at this time. You will find that I will try many things through out this journey but I always seem to go back to WW. It just works for me..

On a nother note my daughter is playing basketball and I am enjoying that so much. She really loves the sport and is getting better all the time. This is game number seven and with only one game left she is doing very well. She is starting to come out of her shell. She started out very timid and is now learning to get in there and fight for the ball. She made 2 baskets today and got the defence award. I was so proud of her and she was proud of her self. I love the joy in her eyes when she knows that she has done well. Of course it is a family event to go watch her play and that gives her alot of incouragement. With me and dad, gma and gpa(my parents), great gma, aunt L and uncle S all watching she nows that she has the support I fell a child should have and that means the world to her to know that we all are there for her.

Well that is my journey so far I have had my ups and downs and will have from now on. The only thing that matters is I get up and start again. Much love to all my readers. Wishing you all the best until next time..

Shan_n





Uggh

13 02 2009

I had my whole day planned out and so far nothing is going as planned. The sinnus/ now upset stomach has go me feelin like shit. I have had a headache the most part of the day that just makes me want to do nothing and to be honest that is about what I have done. I can’t quit coughing which makes the headache worse. I then cough so hard that I feel nausea, I want to eat (everything in sight) but I know that I will puke if I do. I don’t have time for this shit. I am heading into the third week of this bet and things are not lookin good at all. I wanted to go spend some needed time at the gym today but just can’t bring myself to do it. I hope things are better tomorrow. I did manage to get my car vaccuumed and washed today before I go try to trade her in tomorrow. I was suppose to go with my bro tonight to do some shopping(Valentines) for his girlfriend, but her car has broke down and he is now trying to get her out of the middle of the road. She was suppose to be at work and we were going to go then but now I have no idea what is going on. This has just been a day from hell for all of us. Even though my stomach is upset I find myself wanting to eat things that I know I shouldn’t. I think it is a comfort thing. Before I used food to comfort me for everything and that is a hard habit to break. I am a binge eater and for what reason?  I know they don’t really make me feel better but I still look at them and want them. My daughter came home from school today with a bag full of candy. It took everything I have to not look in that bag. I got sent a box of chocolates which I want to open but I know when I do I will eat them all. I am going to take them when I take K to see her cousins this weekend and let the kids devour them. Then I won’t have to look at them anymore.  I have upset the guy that has been trying to talk to me today. He asked me to go out tomorrow and I told him NO. I am just not into him that way and I know that if I go he will think that there is still a chance that we are going to get together even though I have told him were not.I also seen an old boyfriend today and he wants to get together tonight and hang out. I want to hang out with him but I just don’t know if it is a good idea. We had a fallen out a while ago and I am still a little upset about how it went down. He acts like nothing ever happened and everything is fine. Maybe I should just get over it but that is not the only time it has happened. I just don’t know if we are on the same page in life. I kind of feel like the only reason he is asking is because he found out that I was talking to someone else. He is so jelous and we are not even together anymore.  I will probably see him sometime tonight and we will see where things go. I love him with all my heart but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am tired of all the drama that comes with men. I am a pretty drama free person and that is what seems to come when I am seeing someone.  Why oh why do I even bother. Maybe i should just stay single til my daughter is grown then I can go party and date and all that stuff that I should be doing now. Don’t take that the wrong way I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone in the world. That is most of the problem, I don’t let men around her til I know them very well and I am sure something is going to come out of it. That normally takes a while and most men don’t want to wait. Speaking of men, we seen my ex-husband (K’s dad) driving through town today when he should of been at work. No big deal except he didn’t bother to call her and tell her that he was taking the day off and try to spend some time with her. That really pisses me off. Right now because of his work schedule and her bball schedule she only gets to see her day for about 24 hours every other weekend. He doesn’t have the time to take off for her when I need him to but then to see that he had taken today off for no reason aggravates me. I don’t understand why he has to be that way. He claims to want to spend more time with her but then when he is off he don’t call to try to spend it with her.  Alot of it has to do with his bitch ass g/f (sorry for the language) but that is no excuse. Anyway that is a whole nother story.. Sorry for the rant today just needed to get some of it off my chest for a change.  Much love to all my readers.





Feelin the Burn

13 02 2009

I just got home from the gym and I am feelin great, besides the sinus shit that I can’t seem to kick due to the wonderful weather here in southern IL.  Yeah I admit it I live in IL so what? lol  I got in a 2 hour workout today. Not near enough but hey you got to get what ya can sometimes and that happened to be all I got today.  My daughter was sick again lastnight and today so I delt with that most of the day. When I wasn’t tryin to work. Work was a drag, sick kid, not enough time at the gym, makes for a not so good day. I was just not feelin it today.  I must admit that the only reason I went to the gym is because my (daddy) asked if I was going. I just couldn’t tell him no I am being lazy today and I don’t want to go so I went. Good thing he is watchin out for me or I wouldn’t of went today and there has been other days as well.  I figure if my dad can work out for 2 1/2 hours I should be able to fit in some time too.  I am a big DADDY’S GIRL  and I hate to disappoint him so when I don’t go I feel like I am letting him down as well as my daughter and myself.  My daddy(yes that’s what I call him still) has some health issues that I am sure someday unless I do something about it now are going to be issues of mine too. He has High blood pressure and diabetes( which he has under control and no longer has to take meds).  I want to get my life under control so I can teach my daughter to control hers. I don’t want to leave behind the most important thing in my life before it is my time.  So now is the time to change the bad things that I have taught her and replace them with good ones. 

I haven’t weighed today and don’t plan to weigh tomorrow. I am trying to break myself of the vicious cycle. I am habitual about it and I want to stop. I fluctuate so bad that all it does is frustrate and discourage me so I have got to stop. I do not want this time to be like all the other where I give up because of a pound or two gained.  This is no longer an option for me…  It must be done and done right.

I hope that things are good for you all and hopefully you will get something other than chocolates for V-day…lol





The weigh in

11 02 2009

Well the weigh in has come and gone and I am glad. A little upset that I have to announce that I am the lowest weight loss at 5 pounds for the week. Although I am pretty sure that I have found the problem and hoping that next week will be better.

I have sent my body into starvation mode by cutting everything off at once.  After the weigh in I did have a little cheat and well as of this morning I was down 3 more pounds for a total of 8. To bad the weigh in wasn’t today.  So I am going to up my calorie intake a bit and hope that helps.  I think I am doing to much cardio and not enough food for energy.  Hope that I can be on top next week. So far today I have had about 1300 which is about where I need to be on a regular schedule, but I am not a regular person. So tomorrow I will be back to 800 and then on friday I can have a more relaxed day. Hope you all are doing well, I am off to the gym for the 2nd time today. Got to get this weight off…..





Cravings

10 02 2009

Today is day six and it has been the worst day so far. Not only is it Monday but the craving for food is overwhelming.  To top it all off tomorrow is the weigh-in for the bet I have going. I have managed to control it for the most part.  I did go over  about 200 cals today but still staying in the 1000 range that I did not want to exceed.  The rest of the week I was able to maintain it at 800 or less so today was a bust for me. I just don’t know what made today be that way. I worked, went to the gym, did everything that I needed to do. This normally happens to me on the weekends when my schedule is thrown off.  My sweet tooth was so bad today. Here’s the lineup of what I ate today. brace yourself..

b/fast: 1/2 banana  3 bites breakfast burrito( threw the rest away to keep from eating it)

lunch:2 sticks celery, 3 cherry tomatos, 3 chicken strips, 30 grapes

snack; 1 slice pepper jack cheese with 8 reduced fat crackers

dinner; 6 inch roast beef sub with lett, onion, black olives, banana peppers, and lite mayo.

snack; 2 WW cookies, 5 more crackers

TONS OF WATER

So that is what I had today. Some are saying that is not too much but considering all the carbs I had today after strictly watching them all week I am looking for a gain tomorrow morning which I will have to bust ass all day to make up for it come weigh in time at 4 pm.

I only got in 50 mins at the gym today. School called while I was at the gym to tell me that my daughter has the stomach flu that everyone is passing around. So I had to go and pick her up, take my bro to an appointment, then go back to work so the me time was just not there today.  After I got home from work I did manage to get in a little extra. I worked with the heavy bag, did stair steppers, ab lounge, squats, leg lifts, and a few push ups.

I know I didn’t make up for what I would have done at the gym but sometimes you got to deal with what you can get in. Some is better than none I guess. 

Well I am off to smoke the cigarette that is going to help me to not eat. The cigarette that I should be giving up but right now at times it is my support group. Thanks for reading my rant. Hope things are better for you all.