Ok so i got to clear the air… YOU MUST READ

28 09 2009

Just so we r clear this site is not meant to pusuade anyone to do any diet that we have talked about on this blog. My only intentions with this site is to share what I have tried and what has worked or not worked for me. I do understand that many of you have issues with the types of diets that have been discussed on this site. For me and many others who read and support this blog it is a way to discuss what we try and what we are feeling with the diets that we try. If you pay any attention to this blog at all that is not the only things that I discuss on here. This is a personal  way for me to clear my mind and get things off my chest. For those of you who find my blog offensive I am sorry for that but you can at any time click off and discontinue reading.  I am a single mother I am a smoker and I am a woman who has many struggles in her life weight being one of many. This is not a pity party for me I do not expect you to feel sorry for me or to understand where I am coming from with all the things that I write about.  To any children who may read this blog DO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT CONDOANING THIS BEHAVIOR OR THIS LIFESTYLE. I DO believe that the best and healthiest way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. Which IS what I have been doing since last posting on this site. It has taken much time but I am now down 32 pounds and feeling wonderful about it. Knowing that I have done it the right way is fullfilling. I do have some help from a diet pill that I take. This pill is however prescribed by a doctor under his supervision. So to all of you who are reading and do read this thank you so much. As for all of my haters I hope that I have cleared things up for you.



31 05 2009

If you haven’t guessed I am NOT doing at all well on the diet issue.  I haven’t even been trying and vacation is two weeks away. So fat and all I am going to go to the beaches of Flordia and not give a damn what anyone thinks. Besides I don’t know those people and it’s not as if I have to see them again.  I don’t have anyone to impress and I think that is a problem for me. There is not a special someone in my life that I try to stay lookin good for. Everyone around me I am so comfortable with that I just don’t care. I know that is not the attitude to have but that is just the way I feel. Yes I know you are suppose to do it for yourself and that is the only way it is successful. Blah, blah, blah. So anyways I am going to hang out and see what happens. By far I want to be thinner but I also want to enjoy life and not have to worry all the time about my weight. It sucks so bad to be heavy but it sucks even more to have to worry about being heavy. Whatever I am going on vaca and I am going to have a damn good time and when I get back maybe just maybe I will do something about it then.

On another note I finally got that new car that I have been wanting forever…. I am so excited about it and I love it.  I got a Kia Soul, yes it is the car with the hampster commercial! 

So that is all that is going on in my life nothing too exciting I know but just thought I would share a few moments with you all. Much love



13 02 2009

I had my whole day planned out and so far nothing is going as planned. The sinnus/ now upset stomach has go me feelin like shit. I have had a headache the most part of the day that just makes me want to do nothing and to be honest that is about what I have done. I can’t quit coughing which makes the headache worse. I then cough so hard that I feel nausea, I want to eat (everything in sight) but I know that I will puke if I do. I don’t have time for this shit. I am heading into the third week of this bet and things are not lookin good at all. I wanted to go spend some needed time at the gym today but just can’t bring myself to do it. I hope things are better tomorrow. I did manage to get my car vaccuumed and washed today before I go try to trade her in tomorrow. I was suppose to go with my bro tonight to do some shopping(Valentines) for his girlfriend, but her car has broke down and he is now trying to get her out of the middle of the road. She was suppose to be at work and we were going to go then but now I have no idea what is going on. This has just been a day from hell for all of us. Even though my stomach is upset I find myself wanting to eat things that I know I shouldn’t. I think it is a comfort thing. Before I used food to comfort me for everything and that is a hard habit to break. I am a binge eater and for what reason?  I know they don’t really make me feel better but I still look at them and want them. My daughter came home from school today with a bag full of candy. It took everything I have to not look in that bag. I got sent a box of chocolates which I want to open but I know when I do I will eat them all. I am going to take them when I take K to see her cousins this weekend and let the kids devour them. Then I won’t have to look at them anymore.  I have upset the guy that has been trying to talk to me today. He asked me to go out tomorrow and I told him NO. I am just not into him that way and I know that if I go he will think that there is still a chance that we are going to get together even though I have told him were not.I also seen an old boyfriend today and he wants to get together tonight and hang out. I want to hang out with him but I just don’t know if it is a good idea. We had a fallen out a while ago and I am still a little upset about how it went down. He acts like nothing ever happened and everything is fine. Maybe I should just get over it but that is not the only time it has happened. I just don’t know if we are on the same page in life. I kind of feel like the only reason he is asking is because he found out that I was talking to someone else. He is so jelous and we are not even together anymore.  I will probably see him sometime tonight and we will see where things go. I love him with all my heart but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am tired of all the drama that comes with men. I am a pretty drama free person and that is what seems to come when I am seeing someone.  Why oh why do I even bother. Maybe i should just stay single til my daughter is grown then I can go party and date and all that stuff that I should be doing now. Don’t take that the wrong way I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone in the world. That is most of the problem, I don’t let men around her til I know them very well and I am sure something is going to come out of it. That normally takes a while and most men don’t want to wait. Speaking of men, we seen my ex-husband (K’s dad) driving through town today when he should of been at work. No big deal except he didn’t bother to call her and tell her that he was taking the day off and try to spend some time with her. That really pisses me off. Right now because of his work schedule and her bball schedule she only gets to see her day for about 24 hours every other weekend. He doesn’t have the time to take off for her when I need him to but then to see that he had taken today off for no reason aggravates me. I don’t understand why he has to be that way. He claims to want to spend more time with her but then when he is off he don’t call to try to spend it with her.  Alot of it has to do with his bitch ass g/f (sorry for the language) but that is no excuse. Anyway that is a whole nother story.. Sorry for the rant today just needed to get some of it off my chest for a change.  Much love to all my readers.


10 02 2009

Today is day six and it has been the worst day so far. Not only is it Monday but the craving for food is overwhelming.  To top it all off tomorrow is the weigh-in for the bet I have going. I have managed to control it for the most part.  I did go over  about 200 cals today but still staying in the 1000 range that I did not want to exceed.  The rest of the week I was able to maintain it at 800 or less so today was a bust for me. I just don’t know what made today be that way. I worked, went to the gym, did everything that I needed to do. This normally happens to me on the weekends when my schedule is thrown off.  My sweet tooth was so bad today. Here’s the lineup of what I ate today. brace yourself..

b/fast: 1/2 banana  3 bites breakfast burrito( threw the rest away to keep from eating it)

lunch:2 sticks celery, 3 cherry tomatos, 3 chicken strips, 30 grapes

snack; 1 slice pepper jack cheese with 8 reduced fat crackers

dinner; 6 inch roast beef sub with lett, onion, black olives, banana peppers, and lite mayo.

snack; 2 WW cookies, 5 more crackers


So that is what I had today. Some are saying that is not too much but considering all the carbs I had today after strictly watching them all week I am looking for a gain tomorrow morning which I will have to bust ass all day to make up for it come weigh in time at 4 pm.

I only got in 50 mins at the gym today. School called while I was at the gym to tell me that my daughter has the stomach flu that everyone is passing around. So I had to go and pick her up, take my bro to an appointment, then go back to work so the me time was just not there today.  After I got home from work I did manage to get in a little extra. I worked with the heavy bag, did stair steppers, ab lounge, squats, leg lifts, and a few push ups.

I know I didn’t make up for what I would have done at the gym but sometimes you got to deal with what you can get in. Some is better than none I guess. 

Well I am off to smoke the cigarette that is going to help me to not eat. The cigarette that I should be giving up but right now at times it is my support group. Thanks for reading my rant. Hope things are better for you all.

Stayin on track

5 02 2009

It is only day two but still I have to say that I am on track and motivated to make this work. Usually by day two or three I am dreading the food or diet or everything. The bet is really going to be a good thing for me. I am a very competitive person and I know my family is too so that makes me want to work even harder to prove myself. So here’s what I have ate today.

bfast: slimfast and water  220cals

snack: cranberry juice  120 cals

lunch: pear and water  50 cals

dinner:  turkey burger  240 cals

dessert: WW cookie   90 cals

Ok so that is a total of  720 cals for the day. Not to shabby!  So I said yesterday that I was taken the 7 day cleanse by Hydroxycut  and I have to add that I have spent a majority of the day in the restroom so I think that it is doing something.  I have also been taking fiber pills to though so that may be helping. I am gettin ready to head out to the gym for an hour of cardio tonight. I did my strength trainin yesterday so I am trying to rotate it so that I don’t get burnt out or hit that so called plateau. By the way that is a figment of the imagination. It is just telling you that you are not pushing your body hard enough to take off those pounds that you want to take off. Yes it may slow down but it doesn’t stop if you push through the comfort zone.. 

No caffine has made me a bitch today and I am aware of that. I have had no patients with anyone including my daughter and that makes me feel bad but I know that if I just stick it out for a few more days that will change and I will be back to the regular me.  Cutting the carbs and caffine is going to take a toll on my body for a while but that is the conciquences that I am will to take to lose this weight. I am done being the fat mommy and the unhealthy (can’t run or dance all night at the bar) friend.  I just want to be the inergetic person that I know I am inside. I want that to shine through.

For all of you struggling with weight I am here for ya and I wish you all the best of luck.  Keep your head up and stay strong.

Bets are On..

4 02 2009

Ok so I have a bet going on with my dad and brother now that I can get out of the house and back to the gym. The bet is for $25 each on whoever can lose the most weight in 1 month. Yesterday was our first day and I am so unhappy with what I weighed in at.  I can’t believe that I have let myself get so fat again. 

Today was a pretty good day all in all.

Breakfast: plum and water    50 cals

Snack: grapes and water    28 cals

Lunch: salad with dressing and cheese and water 90 cals

Snack: W.W. cookie and water   90 cals

Dinner: turkey burger w/ A1  260 cals

                    carrots w/ butter and Brown sugar  30 cals

                     cabbage  w/ butter  25 cals

                    8 oz choc milk   220 cals

So for the day I have had a total of 793 calories. Not to bad considering this was the first day.I am trying to stay under 1000 calories a day and work it down under 800 for the last few weeks. I am trying this 7 day cleanse by Hydroxycut so we will see if it works and I will let you all know. I am talkin supplements with all of this. Multivitamins, fiber, all the good stuff and plenty of water. Tryin to avoid as many carbs as possible without cutting them out completely. I know that some day I am going to want some pasta or potatoes so I am not going to cut them all out but for the next few weeks I am tryin to do not whites. Pasta, bread, potatoes, etc.  I have really got to hit this hard this time. I hate to lose at anything except losing the weight. So the bet is on and I am going to work my ass off to prove that a woman can lose just as much or MORE than a man.  Hope you all are doing well and keep up all the good work.

Feelin the Drain

3 12 2008

Ok so it is now Wednesday and I am back on track and down 4 pounds from the last time I posted. That is only a total of 13.6 pounds for the total. Not so great but atleast it is a loss.

I am not feelin great today. The whole cold weather sinus shit has kicked in and I am hatin it. I need to go to the gym to make myself feel better but I do not have enough time before work to fit it in this morning.

I did get in a 2 hour workout yesterday and I was excited about that. Although I am not lossing the weight like I had hoped I am lossing inches which always helps too.

I have got to find the time to go to the gym today and I am not sure when that is going to be. I have to work til 2 then K gets out at 3 and homework and basketball consume most of the rest of the night. Hopefully I will find atleast and hour in there to fit something in.

I have been trying some new recipes around here and have found some solutions to things that my family likes that I can still have. It is hard when you have 5 people who like totally different things. And yes I do most of the cooking.

Tonight we are having turkey mignon, they are having scalloped potatoes and cooked carrots(which my daughter loves). I am trying not to eat many carbs that late at night.

I have consulted my doctor about my weight loss because it seems to be bouncing all over the place and I have never had this much trouble lossing before. I know it’s not just going to fall off but I am following this thing to a T and still am not recieving the results that I did last time.

We talked and he said that because I have come off the birthcontrol that I was on that is probably throwing my body for a spin. Hadn’t really thought about it to much but I figured it would help me to lose faster. He said that because my body has been use to it for so long that it is probably going to take some time for it to readjust.

This helps me to know that it is not me that is screwing this up but at the same time I am coming to the conclusion that the 40 I had hoped to drop before surgery is probably not going to happen. He says that 14 pounds in 3 weeks is a healthy number. I don’t want a healthy number I want a happy number.

I should probably stop weighing everyday but it is a habitual habbit for me. I need to know if what I ate the day before helped or hurt me. I hate the whole figuring out your body b/s. I know that it is going to fluctuate from day to day and I can deal with that a little bit but not 2 pounds worth.

Like this morning I was up .6 from yesterday. I can handle that knowing that I hadn’t had a BM. Things like that I understand but not up 2.

Anyways I am now rambling and ranting. BTW I did talk to the guy I spoke of in the last post and we are doing fine. Everything is worked out for now. We are going to continue to hang out and see where things go from there.

We had a long talk about the situation, cried and told each other how we felt. Before I could tell him how I felt he told me that he really cared for me and he wants us to be together but after being in a crappy relationship for 10 years and just gettin out of that he doesn’t feel that it would be fair for me for us to get together yet. I respected him for that and I told him that I cared for him as well and I hoped that in the future it would work out for us.

We are going to hang out this weekend when K and I get back from her b-day party and Chuckie Cheese. He wants to take K somewhere on Sunday for her b-day and get her something.

I am really hoping that things work out and we can be together soon. I don’t want to rush things, but it would be nice for us to just be together once and for all.

Thanks to all of you who read and comment. The support is much appreciated. Stay strong and don’t let all these holidays get you down.

Much Love xoxo***S