Ok so i got to clear the air… YOU MUST READ

28 09 2009

Just so we r clear this site is not meant to pusuade anyone to do any diet that we have talked about on this blog. My only intentions with this site is to share what I have tried and what has worked or not worked for me. I do understand that many of you have issues with the types of diets that have been discussed on this site. For me and many others who read and support this blog it is a way to discuss what we try and what we are feeling with the diets that we try. If you pay any attention to this blog at all that is not the only things that I discuss on here. This is a personal  way for me to clear my mind and get things off my chest. For those of you who find my blog offensive I am sorry for that but you can at any time click off and discontinue reading.  I am a single mother I am a smoker and I am a woman who has many struggles in her life weight being one of many. This is not a pity party for me I do not expect you to feel sorry for me or to understand where I am coming from with all the things that I write about.  To any children who may read this blog DO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT CONDOANING THIS BEHAVIOR OR THIS LIFESTYLE. I DO believe that the best and healthiest way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. Which IS what I have been doing since last posting on this site. It has taken much time but I am now down 32 pounds and feeling wonderful about it. Knowing that I have done it the right way is fullfilling. I do have some help from a diet pill that I take. This pill is however prescribed by a doctor under his supervision. So to all of you who are reading and do read this thank you so much. As for all of my haters I hope that I have cleared things up for you.



31 05 2009

If you haven’t guessed I am NOT doing at all well on the diet issue.  I haven’t even been trying and vacation is two weeks away. So fat and all I am going to go to the beaches of Flordia and not give a damn what anyone thinks. Besides I don’t know those people and it’s not as if I have to see them again.  I don’t have anyone to impress and I think that is a problem for me. There is not a special someone in my life that I try to stay lookin good for. Everyone around me I am so comfortable with that I just don’t care. I know that is not the attitude to have but that is just the way I feel. Yes I know you are suppose to do it for yourself and that is the only way it is successful. Blah, blah, blah. So anyways I am going to hang out and see what happens. By far I want to be thinner but I also want to enjoy life and not have to worry all the time about my weight. It sucks so bad to be heavy but it sucks even more to have to worry about being heavy. Whatever I am going on vaca and I am going to have a damn good time and when I get back maybe just maybe I will do something about it then.

On another note I finally got that new car that I have been wanting forever…. I am so excited about it and I love it.  I got a Kia Soul, yes it is the car with the hampster commercial! 

So that is all that is going on in my life nothing too exciting I know but just thought I would share a few moments with you all. Much love


I Lose and not the weight

18 03 2009

So if you hadn’t figured it out I lost the bet and it has been down hill since then. One weekend with a cheat day turned into a month I swear.  I just can’t seem to get things going like I had hoped. No excuses just plain laziness on my part. As far as my eating goes it has not been too bad but I have not exercised in 2 weeks.  I have felt horrible. Since my surgery my hormones are all out of wack, I don’t feel like exercising, I just want to sleep all the time. My iron is way down and I can’t seem to get it to balance out. Dr says that is probably why I didn’t take the weight off like I had hoped. Whatever! After being defeated I let it go to far, thinking that I would just eat what I wanted that weekend and then I would start all over again. I let the loss get to me and I have been in a downward spiral since then. My moods are crazy. I think I could have a nervous breakdown at any time and since food has always been my comfort guess where I am turning? You got it right to all the foods that I like to think makes me feel better. I know that in the long run I always feel worse about eating them but at the time I don’t think about anything other than eating. I just don’t know what to do. Finances have got me in a tizzy, court date is coming up with the ex, K’s meeting for school is coming up. I just feel overwhelmed right now and I don’t deal well with it. I have never been one to deal well with stress. I worry to much about the little things that when the big things come up I am all stretched out.  I think I am going to see about some ” happy pills” for a while. Even though I know that I should not take them. (known pill popper) that’s another story in itself. So I am going to have to watch that closely but I can’t continue on the way I am. Drinking has picked up and I hate that. I don’t drink in front of my daughter so I stay up drinking and pondering all my thoughts. I can’t speak to the parentals cuz they know nothing about any of it. I am just at my wits end and I don’t know what to do.This is not the first time that I have felt this way it is ongoing but usually I can snap myself back into atleast somewhat normal feelings.  My daughter gets me through most everything. The only difference is I have never had to wonder where the next dollar is going to come from to take care of her. She is my life and I live everyday for her. So now that you know why I haven’t been on please feel free to comment and leave any suggestions that you may have. Much love to you all!

3 More Days

28 02 2009

The clock is ticking and so far I am on track. There are 3 more days to go til the final weigh in with my dad and bro. I am super excited and as of right now I am in first. The biggest downfall is that my dad tends to drop a few in one day and as of now I am only ahead by 1. My goal is to drop atleast to more pounds in the next three days before the weigh in. That will put me at my personal goal to lose 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I am trying to give it my all and hang in there. Not giving into temptation right now is a challenge but I also want to prove that I can shed the weight too. Girl scout cookies come in yesterday and ofcourse I had ordered 4 boxes before this whole thing started. The look on my face when they showed up yesterday I’m sure was discust. I did not want them anywhere near me. I managed to sell 2 of the boxes that I had bought to co-workers. That was a definate plus. Even bigger plus is that I sold MY favorite ones so the temptation is not as great. I kept the boxes that my daughter wanted and I am limiting how many she can have a day as well.  I know that I haven’t been on for a while so here is the scoop. I am now down 13 pounds since the start of all of this, I am back to doing the Weight Watchers because that is what works for me. I am trying to lose it at a resonable pace so that I can keep it off this time. No sence in losing it if it’s not going to stay off. Gym time has been cut short for me the last few weeks so I bought a resistance band and a few other things so that I can atleast get in a few short workouts through out the day. I do take the band to work with me and if I have a chance I try to fit in a little before or after lunch. I am trying to do short intervels either before or after each meal. It seems to be working ok. I know that if I was to go to the gym it would probably be coming off a little faster but what the hell it’s coming off and that is my only concern at this time. I also wear ankle weights to work for a little something. So that is the plan that I am using at this time. You will find that I will try many things through out this journey but I always seem to go back to WW. It just works for me..

On a nother note my daughter is playing basketball and I am enjoying that so much. She really loves the sport and is getting better all the time. This is game number seven and with only one game left she is doing very well. She is starting to come out of her shell. She started out very timid and is now learning to get in there and fight for the ball. She made 2 baskets today and got the defence award. I was so proud of her and she was proud of her self. I love the joy in her eyes when she knows that she has done well. Of course it is a family event to go watch her play and that gives her alot of incouragement. With me and dad, gma and gpa(my parents), great gma, aunt L and uncle S all watching she nows that she has the support I fell a child should have and that means the world to her to know that we all are there for her.

Well that is my journey so far I have had my ups and downs and will have from now on. The only thing that matters is I get up and start again. Much love to all my readers. Wishing you all the best until next time..



13 02 2009

I had my whole day planned out and so far nothing is going as planned. The sinnus/ now upset stomach has go me feelin like shit. I have had a headache the most part of the day that just makes me want to do nothing and to be honest that is about what I have done. I can’t quit coughing which makes the headache worse. I then cough so hard that I feel nausea, I want to eat (everything in sight) but I know that I will puke if I do. I don’t have time for this shit. I am heading into the third week of this bet and things are not lookin good at all. I wanted to go spend some needed time at the gym today but just can’t bring myself to do it. I hope things are better tomorrow. I did manage to get my car vaccuumed and washed today before I go try to trade her in tomorrow. I was suppose to go with my bro tonight to do some shopping(Valentines) for his girlfriend, but her car has broke down and he is now trying to get her out of the middle of the road. She was suppose to be at work and we were going to go then but now I have no idea what is going on. This has just been a day from hell for all of us. Even though my stomach is upset I find myself wanting to eat things that I know I shouldn’t. I think it is a comfort thing. Before I used food to comfort me for everything and that is a hard habit to break. I am a binge eater and for what reason?  I know they don’t really make me feel better but I still look at them and want them. My daughter came home from school today with a bag full of candy. It took everything I have to not look in that bag. I got sent a box of chocolates which I want to open but I know when I do I will eat them all. I am going to take them when I take K to see her cousins this weekend and let the kids devour them. Then I won’t have to look at them anymore.  I have upset the guy that has been trying to talk to me today. He asked me to go out tomorrow and I told him NO. I am just not into him that way and I know that if I go he will think that there is still a chance that we are going to get together even though I have told him were not.I also seen an old boyfriend today and he wants to get together tonight and hang out. I want to hang out with him but I just don’t know if it is a good idea. We had a fallen out a while ago and I am still a little upset about how it went down. He acts like nothing ever happened and everything is fine. Maybe I should just get over it but that is not the only time it has happened. I just don’t know if we are on the same page in life. I kind of feel like the only reason he is asking is because he found out that I was talking to someone else. He is so jelous and we are not even together anymore.  I will probably see him sometime tonight and we will see where things go. I love him with all my heart but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am tired of all the drama that comes with men. I am a pretty drama free person and that is what seems to come when I am seeing someone.  Why oh why do I even bother. Maybe i should just stay single til my daughter is grown then I can go party and date and all that stuff that I should be doing now. Don’t take that the wrong way I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone in the world. That is most of the problem, I don’t let men around her til I know them very well and I am sure something is going to come out of it. That normally takes a while and most men don’t want to wait. Speaking of men, we seen my ex-husband (K’s dad) driving through town today when he should of been at work. No big deal except he didn’t bother to call her and tell her that he was taking the day off and try to spend some time with her. That really pisses me off. Right now because of his work schedule and her bball schedule she only gets to see her day for about 24 hours every other weekend. He doesn’t have the time to take off for her when I need him to but then to see that he had taken today off for no reason aggravates me. I don’t understand why he has to be that way. He claims to want to spend more time with her but then when he is off he don’t call to try to spend it with her.  Alot of it has to do with his bitch ass g/f (sorry for the language) but that is no excuse. Anyway that is a whole nother story.. Sorry for the rant today just needed to get some of it off my chest for a change.  Much love to all my readers.

I couldn’t wait any longer..

8 02 2009

I had to weigh this morning even after I told myself that I wasn’t going to weigh until the weigh in on Tuesday. I couldn’t do it. I am a habitual weigher when I am dieting and I hate that.  I must say though that I am down 6 pounds from Tuesday. It feels good to know that I have lost that but now if I lose nothing else the rest of the week I will feel like shit after the weigh in. Oh well I have to be happy with whatever weight I lose and go on. I did make it to the gym today for a 2 hour workout. I was proud of myself for that long. It had been a month since I had went and I made it 3 days since Tues. Didn’t go yesterday, but I did work very hard and for a long time and I only ate fruits and veggies. Today I uped the cals a little just to throw my metabolism for a spin and keep it up.  Here’s the lineup..

Bfast: plum 

Lunch: fresco chicken taco

Dinner: grilled chicken w/ hot wing sauce (by the way was delicous) I love spicy food and peas

So that was what I consumed to day plus a ton of water.  I did go get a Brita water filter today and I love it. The water taste so much better and I don’t have to buy bottled water. Trying to be eco friendly. In the long run it actually saves alot of money too.  If you don’t have one and don’t like the taste of tap water I suggest that you give it a try.

On another note I am shopping for a new car. Not to sure yet what I am going to get but I know that I either want a small SUV or a CROSSOVER.  I started my search this past week on the web and now I am going around lookin at the ones I think I like. I have to see them in person before I know.  Sometimes pics can be decieving. I also have a price range that I have to stay in so that puts a damper on some of them. If any of you have reccomendations or even own a car you absolutely love please share with me. Only exemption is NO VANS.  I am not old enough or have enough kids to justify me owning a van..lol  Much love to all of you..


Stayin on track

5 02 2009

It is only day two but still I have to say that I am on track and motivated to make this work. Usually by day two or three I am dreading the food or diet or everything. The bet is really going to be a good thing for me. I am a very competitive person and I know my family is too so that makes me want to work even harder to prove myself. So here’s what I have ate today.

bfast: slimfast and water  220cals

snack: cranberry juice  120 cals

lunch: pear and water  50 cals

dinner:  turkey burger  240 cals

dessert: WW cookie   90 cals

Ok so that is a total of  720 cals for the day. Not to shabby!  So I said yesterday that I was taken the 7 day cleanse by Hydroxycut  and I have to add that I have spent a majority of the day in the restroom so I think that it is doing something.  I have also been taking fiber pills to though so that may be helping. I am gettin ready to head out to the gym for an hour of cardio tonight. I did my strength trainin yesterday so I am trying to rotate it so that I don’t get burnt out or hit that so called plateau. By the way that is a figment of the imagination. It is just telling you that you are not pushing your body hard enough to take off those pounds that you want to take off. Yes it may slow down but it doesn’t stop if you push through the comfort zone.. 

No caffine has made me a bitch today and I am aware of that. I have had no patients with anyone including my daughter and that makes me feel bad but I know that if I just stick it out for a few more days that will change and I will be back to the regular me.  Cutting the carbs and caffine is going to take a toll on my body for a while but that is the conciquences that I am will to take to lose this weight. I am done being the fat mommy and the unhealthy (can’t run or dance all night at the bar) friend.  I just want to be the inergetic person that I know I am inside. I want that to shine through.

For all of you struggling with weight I am here for ya and I wish you all the best of luck.  Keep your head up and stay strong.