ALREADY…GEEZUS

17 11 2008

I already fucked up.  I took the kids to the donut shop because I am not a donut fan and thought that the bagels in the fridge and an egg would only be 6 points, but I wound up getting a freaking sausage roll!  A LARGE ONE AT THAT.  I have no idea how many points is in that but I am sure it is more than 6!  I guess I will just try to eat low fat/ low cal the rest of the day and start new tomorrow.

I weighed today…200.5, yep that is how much C weighs.  I used to be so over taken with my weight, then I realized that I shouldn’t.  After I had kids I got heavier and heavier.  Now it is outta control.  My back hurts constantly because I am only 5 foot 3 and I am carrying an extra 75 pounds or so on my little frame.  I swear I look like a Umpaloompa.  Actually everyone says I carry my weight well, but I beg to differ!

Anyway, I hope to do much better for bfast tomorrow and the rest of today.  I am not gonna dwell on that sausage roll and do the rest of the day better.  We are having pork loin for dinner and that is very low fat.  Yay!  Everyone keep on keeping on.

-C

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Here I go…AGAIN.

16 11 2008

I have been MIA for a week or so because I have been bad, real bad.  Eating and drinking whatever I want whenever I want it.  I am too afraid to stand on the scales.  I know I have gotten heavier, I can tell by the way my clothes are fitting.

I think I will jump on the wagon with S and do WW.  I know how to do it, I am just not a huge fan.  I do better counting calories because I know my limits and with points I get carried away and have them all eaten by dinner time.  I know that doesn’t make since but it is true.  So I will spend this week tracking points.  I will stand on the damn scales tomorrow morning and give you my ‘true’ weight.

I have a really hard time doing this when I feel so confident.  I look in the mirror and don’t get mad or sad, I am content.  I like my curves and I like food.  But at the same time I don’t want my 3 little girls to grow up thinking my weight and the way I eat is normal.  I want them to see me eating healthy and exercising, regardless of my size.  That is what is important, teaching them how to eat properly and stay fit.  And if I did just that I would, in fact, lose weight.

So as I embark on this AGAIN I will do it with a different attitude.  I am doing this for my health, not for my self confidence or to be sexy.  I am already sexy, no matter what anyone says.  I want to be healthy, happy and live life to the fullest.  When I run in the yard with the girls I don’t want to be out of breath after 2 minutes of playing.  I want to be more active and feel great!!  And I will…

On a different note, I want to let all the great commenter’s to S know how much it means to not only her but to me.  It is really hard to put your life out into ‘blog’ world, but when you do and you get positive feedback it helps.  It helps you maintain your mind set, and reach your goals!  Knowing that others concur and agree allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings even further which helps you reach in and grab that last piece of what you need for success…So thank you all.

C





Still the same

25 10 2008

I have been the same for 3 days now…getting pissed off myself.  I just took my first albuterol treatment this am and I am shaky, but I know it will work it did in the past.  My stepsister wants to go to the cafe to eat this am..I can’t even get away from there on the weekends, grrrr!  I am going to get Troy beer today so I am gonna get me some coconut rum, I love that stuff and it is less cal than beer.  I have realized over 1/2 the cals I am ingesting are from beer and I am eating way to late at night.  

I am sorry for your frustrations, I hope you get things straightend out at the school…I am sapposed to be going to my friends house tonight to hang out, but the baby ran fever yesterday so we will have to see how she is today.  I am not gonna go if she isn’t feeling good, even if it is my sister keeping them.  More later….guess I have to get ready to to smell yummy food and not eat it!!!