Feelin the Drain

3 12 2008

Ok so it is now Wednesday and I am back on track and down 4 pounds from the last time I posted. That is only a total of 13.6 pounds for the total. Not so great but atleast it is a loss.

I am not feelin great today. The whole cold weather sinus shit has kicked in and I am hatin it. I need to go to the gym to make myself feel better but I do not have enough time before work to fit it in this morning.

I did get in a 2 hour workout yesterday and I was excited about that. Although I am not lossing the weight like I had hoped I am lossing inches which always helps too.

I have got to find the time to go to the gym today and I am not sure when that is going to be. I have to work til 2 then K gets out at 3 and homework and basketball consume most of the rest of the night. Hopefully I will find atleast and hour in there to fit something in.

I have been trying some new recipes around here and have found some solutions to things that my family likes that I can still have. It is hard when you have 5 people who like totally different things. And yes I do most of the cooking.

Tonight we are having turkey mignon, they are having scalloped potatoes and cooked carrots(which my daughter loves). I am trying not to eat many carbs that late at night.

I have consulted┬ámy doctor about my weight loss because it seems to be bouncing all over the place and I have never had this much trouble lossing before. I know it’s not just going to fall off but I am following this thing to a T and still am not recieving the results that I did last time.

We talked and he said that because I have come off the birthcontrol that I was on that is probably throwing my body for a spin. Hadn’t really thought about it to much but I figured it would help me to lose faster. He said that because my body has been use to it for so long that it is probably going to take some time for it to readjust.

This helps me to know that it is not me that is screwing this up but at the same time I am coming to the conclusion that the 40 I had hoped to drop before surgery is probably not going to happen. He says that 14 pounds in 3 weeks is a healthy number. I don’t want a healthy number I want a happy number.

I should probably stop weighing everyday but it is a habitual habbit for me. I need to know if what I ate the day before helped or hurt me. I hate the whole figuring out your body b/s. I know that it is going to fluctuate from day to day and I can deal with that a little bit but not 2 pounds worth.

Like this morning I was up .6 from yesterday. I can handle that knowing that I hadn’t had a BM. Things like that I understand but not up 2.

Anyways I am now rambling and ranting. BTW I did talk to the guy I spoke of in the last post and we are doing fine. Everything is worked out for now. We are going to continue to hang out and see where things go from there.

We had a long talk about the situation, cried and told each other how we felt. Before I could tell him how I felt he told me that he really cared for me and he wants us to be together but after being in a crappy relationship for 10 years and just gettin out of that he doesn’t feel that it would be fair for me for us to get together yet. I respected him for that and I told him that I cared for him as well and I hoped that in the future it would work out for us.

We are going to hang out this weekend when K and I get back from her b-day party and Chuckie Cheese. He wants to take K somewhere on Sunday for her b-day and get her something.

I am really hoping that things work out and we can be together soon. I don’t want to rush things, but it would be nice for us to just be together once and for all.

Thanks to all of you who read and comment. The support is much appreciated. Stay strong and don’t let all these holidays get you down.

Much Love xoxo***S