Couldn’t Ask for Anything Better

16 11 2008

Well here it is day 4 on W.W. and I am down 5.8 pounds as of this morning. I am super excited and I hope to continue to do as well for the rest of this week. Since I started on Thursday I am tracking my weeks that way. I have to admit that this weekend has been hard for me to stay on track but I was able to do so and this is a feeling of control that I haven’t felt for a long time. I have been able to continue to eat out (which we do alot) and that is helpful to me. I still get to eat the foods that I enjoy the most and I have that full feeling that MY body requires. I envy those who thrive on that empty feeling and wished that worked for me but I know that it doesn’t and that only sets me up for failure in the end. This way I feel it is a benefit to me to be able to eat what I want and still lose the weight(healthier too).

I haven’t started exercising yet but I intend to tomorrow. I know that the results will be greater if I do so. I am a member of the YMCA gym here and I need to start taking advantage of that again. It is nice because they do have a free daycare that my daughter can go to while I am working out.  I am starting her in basketball(which she wants to do) for the winter so that she will get some form of exercise as well. This will be good for the both of us because we can use the gym at the YMCA to do some practicing in. I love to play basketball and I hope that she will love it as much as I did when I was a kid. She is packing on some weight herself which I do not mention to her but she is concious of it. Constantly tell me that she need to lose weight (she will be 7 in Dec.) I worry about her having an eating disorder too.  I try to make her feel good about herself and her body telling her that she looks good and how cute she is all the time. Ofcourse I know that she is a little heavy but I still think she is the cutest ( I am a little bias). I just want her to be happy with herself no matter what anyone else might think. I don’t want this to be a battle that she has for all of her life.

She is the most important reason why I am doing this. I want it for myself but I also want to set a good example for her. Whinning and saying how I need to lose weight and doing nothing about it has got to stop and stop now. I need this more now than ever and so does she. Seeing me yo-yo and never set a goal and stick to it isn’t doing either one of us any good. She is my pride and joy, I just want her to be happy and I want to be happy with her.

It has really helped me to be able to have this to share feelings and thoughts with a great friend and all of our readers. I appreciate all of you. Stay tuned for more results…

Thanks to all of ya, xoxo***S


Still the same

25 10 2008

I have been the same for 3 days now…getting pissed off myself.  I just took my first albuterol treatment this am and I am shaky, but I know it will work it did in the past.  My stepsister wants to go to the cafe to eat this am..I can’t even get away from there on the weekends, grrrr!  I am going to get Troy beer today so I am gonna get me some coconut rum, I love that stuff and it is less cal than beer.  I have realized over 1/2 the cals I am ingesting are from beer and I am eating way to late at night.  

I am sorry for your frustrations, I hope you get things straightend out at the school…I am sapposed to be going to my friends house tonight to hang out, but the baby ran fever yesterday so we will have to see how she is today.  I am not gonna go if she isn’t feeling good, even if it is my sister keeping them.  More later….guess I have to get ready to to smell yummy food and not eat it!!!

Depressed In IL

25 10 2008

Well today was a bad day for me. I got up this morning thinking that things had to be better well they weren’t so much and it got worse as the day went on. I WAS down 1.2 this am but I was up yesterday 3 so it didn’t really balance out.  I thought I would try to eat a salad today and go HEALTHY  for a few days but that all went to hell this pm. K came home from school with her report card and I was pist to find out that she is failing reading after I specifically told them to let me know if she got to that point. AND THEY DIDN’T… So Monday morning I will be at the school raising hell. If that wasn’t bad enough it added to the stress and I began drinking as soon as she left with her dad.  Then I got called back to work and I felt like shit going in there. I love my job but I wasn’t in the mood when the call came in.  After work I decided that I had already blew the whole day with the salad and drinking so I went to eat with a friend to let off some steam and I had 2 bread sticks and alot more to drink. BTW I am drinking vodka and water so it only has 64 cals a shot but still I went way over today. I did no exercise what so ever.  Tomorrow is not looking any better because I have to work at 8 and then as soon as that is over we are moving everything into the new shop. Definitely drinking tomorrow. I just need a well deserved day of rest to gather all of my thoughts. Completely pissed right now and not gettin over it any time to soon. Probably not til I talk to the school and find out what the hell is going on. Sorry for the pissy post will try to be better tomorrow. Best of luck to you. My fast for now is on hold….